Siwa

I am besieged by beautiful, light brown, and very soft sand. I turn left, I turn right, straight ahead, and all I see is sand. I am in awe at its beauty. A beauty so strong it shook me, and took a hold of my entire being.

The desert with its infinite beauty is a piece of heaven, but also a glimpse of hell.
Rocks as rigid as cold hearts. Water as cool as rain on a hot day. Sand as soft as a newborn’s skin. It’s sunny and bright with long dark nights. I feel love and fear; sadness and happiness; fullfillness and emptiness.

As the sand touches the sky, I become one with God and one with humanity.
It is so peaceful, so quiet, and there is no sound around us. At times, even the wind decided to be silent. What remained was only the inner voice of the desert connecting with my soul. This silence is like nothing I have experienced before. I only hear the sound of my pen, and occasionally a brave mosquito flying in this vast desert. As the sand tickles my feet and touches my hands, I feel a soothing and heeling effect on my body.

Emotions inside me start stirring up. Each emotion is fighting with the other, yearning to leave my body and wander in the desert. They too, seek freedom. As I bow down in prayer, and as my forehead touches the sand, I let my emotions run wild like small pieces of sand. I let them be blown away by the wind. I let go of all the pain. I spoke directly with the desert. I spoke directly with God. I felt him inside me. Then I became undone, I restarted, and refreshed.

Thank you Siwa, and thank you Ben for this wonderful gift.